Chinese - annotated exemplars level 1 90872

Write a variety of text types in Chinese on areas of most immediate relevance (1.5)

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This annotated exemplar is intended for teacher use only. The student work shown does not always represent a complete sample of what is required. Selected extracts are used, focused on the grade boundaries, in order to assist assessors to make judgements at the national standard.

Low Excellence

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 1 (PDF, 451KB)

For Excellence, the student needs to write a variety of text types in effective Chinese, on areas of most immediate relevance. This involves development of the information, ideas and opinions which is controlled and integrated. The writer capably selects and successfully uses a range of language and language features that are fit for purpose and audience. Communication is not hindered by inconsistencies.

Effective Chinese is shown through capable selection and successful use of a range of language, and generally controlled development of information/ideas/opinions. For example, in his self-introduction piece, he provides a well-developed and interesting account of himself. Some of the language he used is sophisticated, for example 惠灵世界上最好的城市之一,二零一一年的候惠灵评为世界上最酷的小首都 (1).

Personal ideas and opinions are expressed, e.g. 我最喜欢鸟巢,因为鸟巢不但非常 大而且有漂亮的外墙 (2).The student has shown clear evidence of communicating beyond the immediate context, e.g. 在北京的时候,我去了秀水市场, 讨价还价特 别有趣 (3).

To sit more securely at Excellence, there will be more careful selection of language. For example, there are a few instances in which he follows English word order in his writing: 每个里面展厅都有大坑 (4), 我爱中国和我想再去中国明年 (5).

High Merit

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 2 (PDF, 339KB)

For Merit, the student needs to write a variety of text types in convincing Chinese, on areas of most immediate relevance. This involves development of the information, ideas and opinions which is generally credible and connected. The writer selects and uses a range of language and language features that are fit for purpose and audience. Communication is not significantly hindered by inconsistencies.

Convincing Chinese is shown through selection of a range of language and language features that are fit for purpose and audience. For example, he describes his trip to China using a range of sentence structures: 中国比新西兰热.虽然中国太热但是我们玩得很开心每个晚上, 我们去了饭馆, 因为中国菜品种多 (6).There is development of the information, ideas and opinions which is generally credible and connected.

To reach Excellence, there will be additional evidence of controlled and integrated development. Some parts of his writing would be effective with additional development. For example, in his China Trip piece, he could add some detail about why he enjoys his stay in Shanghai.

Further, to reach Excellence the student needs to show consistent evidence of the successful use of language, e.g. 你可以去在海边游泳 (7), 我什么运动喜欢 (8).

Low Merit

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 3 (PDF, 236KB)

For Merit, the student needs to write a variety of text types in convincing Chinese, on areas of most immediate relevance. This involves development of the information, ideas and opinions which is generally credible and connected. The writer selects and uses language and language features that are fit for purpose and audience. Communication is not significantly hindered by inconsistencies.

In this exemplar, personal information and opinions are expressed and there is some development of the information. For example, he compared New Zealand and China with regard to size, weather and sports. He used a range of language, e.g. 不但中国很大而且人很多奥克从来不下雪,etc. (9).

The student also shows the ability to communicate beyond the immediate context, 们坐火车去了公园,下星期六, 我和Bob去看All Blacks打橄榄球  (11).

To sit more securely at the Merit level, and ensure credible, connected development, the student needs to make sure sentences are linked in sensible ways. Though his writing is connected overall, there are instances where the ideas could have flowed more logically, e.g. 中国人不打橄榄球为他们不看橄榄球, 所以他乒乓球 (11).

Further, more care with language such as 在里面天空塔, 你能看奥克兰城市 (12) will lead to a more secure Merit.

High Achieved

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 4 (PDF, 254KB)

For Achieved, the student needs to write a variety of text types in Chinese, on areas of most immediate relevance. This involves using language related to basic personal information and past, present and/or future experiences in order to express personal information, ideas and opinions. Communication is achieved overall despite inconsistencies.

In this exemplar, there is evidence of personal information and ideas, e.g. 我喜欢北京因为人多我喜欢人多北京东西便宜, 我也喜欢小吃街, 因为他们卖炸蝎子  (13).

The student also communicates beyond the immediate context: 我今年一月去中国我在中国住一个月我去了三个城市,上海和北京和南京(14).

To reach Merit, the student needs to attempt to use a range of language to make the writing interesting. Some linking words could also be used to connect ideas.

Further, to reach Merit, the student needs to show evidence of credible, connected development, i.e. he needs to develop the ideas with some details.

Low Achieved

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 5 (PDF, 232KB)

For Achieved, the student needs to write a variety of text types in Chinese, on areas of most immediate relevance. This involves using language related to basic personal information and past, present and/or future experiences in order to express personal information, ideas and opinions. Communication is achieved overall despite inconsistencies.  

In this exemplar, some opinions are expressed, e.g. 我喜欢惠灵顿,因为惠灵顿又 有意思又漂亮(15).

There is also evidence that the student can communicate beyond the immediate context. For example, he writes about a past trip in China: 去年我和同学去了中国在上海我的钱不见了(16).

Additional evidence of mastery of language at this level would result in a more secure Achieved performance, e.g. additional evidence of ability with basic sentence structures.

High Not Achieved

Commentary
Student work extract

Student 6 (PDF, 261KB)

For Achieved, the student needs to write a variety of text types in Chinese, on areas of most immediate relevance. This involves using language related to basic personal information and past, present and/or future experiences in order to express personal information, ideas and opinions. Communication is achieved overall despite inconsistencies.

In this exemplar, the student has managed to communicate some ideas in the “Diary” and “Welcome to New Zealand” topics.

He has used some level 1 language in his writing, for example, 新西兰是一个美丽 的地方,它有非常美丽的湖泊陶波湖是新西兰最大的湖泊(17).

To reach Achieved, inconsistencies will not hinder communication, e.g. in the school life piece the student has difficulty conveying his information and ideas as a result of incorrect use of basic sentence structures.

 
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